Saturday, March 13, 2010

How much do things really matter?

That you lost your pet you loved?
That you cannot work as hard as you want to?
That you cannot reverse time?
That you can never visit all the places you read about?
That your computer speed does not exceed 11 kbps?
That your biggest fear is that someone will take you to be weak because you are a woman?
That your husband has been cheating on you?
That you can neither live with or without your love?
That you can never walk on stilletoes?
That the chicken was undercooked on your Bosses' lunch?
That the only thing other 'women' ask you when they know you are Computer literate is whether you have seen Pornography.
Yet the first thing they ask you to teach them is to open a chat-id, or a marriage matrimonial.
That you work hard but your Boss never gets to know it because someone else gets the credit?
That people judge you by the anger with which you erupt, which is just a vent for the hurt you have inside?
That you feel is a disadvantage because you can never wear spaghetti tops or embrace people and air kiss?
That you caught your own boyfriend/husband cheat on you while you remained faithful?
That you realize that you cannot be the actor/dancer/doctor you wanted to be?
Or that people assume that if you have had a lover, you must have necessarily been physical with him.
Or worse, that you realize that you do not want to be the actor/doctor/dancer you thought you wanted to be...
That people take your independence for aggressiveness.
That you depend on your husband to provide for you and your kids because no one ever taught you in your family.
That people do not know how hard it has been for you.
And worst, they do not want to know.
That people do not listen to you...
That your kids once betrayed you,
That the person you loved the most in your life never hesitated to find the smallest fault about you...
That your husband beat you to pulp each time he was on a high...
That your studies were discontinued because your parents could provide for just one education and it had to be your brother.
That when your husband left you, his brother wanted you to be his mistress.
And the 'Women' in your family sided with him because they thought you really lacked some character because your husband left you.
That you fell in love with a man you knew did not want to be committed.
That you cried into the morning until your eyes wouldn't open because the lids were so swollen.
That you grew so strong out of situations that you became a man-eater.
That you grew so weak out of fear you stopped talk normally.
That you loved him so much that you thought he should actually go away from you and find better people and better surroundings.
And, when he did, you wanted him back.
That you carry his slap marks to office but say you fell down the stairs.
That you lead the world but when it comes to that one person, you are always the doormat.
That you can never bake that cake, and the rice is always half cooked.
That you are a tall woman, but you are not strong.
That career became secondary when it shouldn't have.
And became Primary when it shouldn't be.
That you feel fat, out of shape, unintelligent, and unattractive.
That you shun parties but desperately want someone to open the door with a smile when you return from work.
That you open the door for someone, smiling.
That you cannot be the person he wanted you to be.
That you think the reason people might not fall in love with you is because you are ugly.
That he fell out of love while you couldn't.
That you want 3 kids and 2 dogs and 1 husband who loves you and a house to live in, and food to eat.
But you know you can never get to have that either.
That your kids stopped respecting you because you could not stand upto them.
That you fell out of love with the man you married.
That your body stopped taking your mind's orders.
That you are too intelligent for your own good.
That you have a dictatorial streak in you, which if unleashed, would be very destructive.
That you read too much stuff, know too much stuff, and imagine too much stuff. But when it comes to doing, saying, or believing, you withdraw.
That you are getting stretch marks and crow's feet.
That one bad experience with a husband or love keeps you away from a lifetime of it.
That you choose a path out of forced conviction.
That you don't believe in your work.
That you sometimes don't believe in your Boss.
That you, as a woman, have too much nerve for the unnecessary;
and none for the necessary.
That you can never fall out of love,
so that you can fall in again.
Worse that you don't want to fall at all.
Because the only thing you aim is on a Rise.
That you realize true love and honesty are overrated. People claim they believe in it but don't.
That you realize faith is grossly overreported. People are not as simple as you take them to be.
That every other day, you see his pictures on the Net or the paper, pasted to some other woman's arms.
That you hate working through your Dysmenorrhoea but cannot afford to.
That you are labelled a bad woman because you always speak the truth.
That you are laughed at because you cant adjust to lesser minds.
That people don't believe that you seriously don't think about them.
That you dread going in buses because you have a lot of hands sneaking up to you, and you cannot retort or act back.
That you are an intimidatingly creative conversationalist.
That there is not one man you met who wouldn't lap himself up with his insecurities.
That you, like the true Dictator, " Want to change the entire System"
But like KB, have to face it the most from the ones who say they respect you.
That the more you are convinced about the fact that you will stay alone, the more you fear it.
That you realize it is too far out that you will live with somebody.
That you lost your child and will never be pregnant again.
That you know you will never become the Person you always wanted to be.
That even as a woman, you cannot see someone cry and not have tears sting your face.
That your Boyfriend left you because he did not have the guts to take care of you.
That every time you see a man mistreat a woman, you feel physically abusive.
Because you saw those marks on your friend's wrists. Or he told you his dad abused his mom and he can never think straight again.
That you are not sure you know what you want.
That you cannot forget the past.
That you cannot start a future.

And numerous other things.......

But does it matter?

If you know you have been honest to your core.
That you work as hard as you can and stayed true to yourself.
That you still smile when you see any baby on the road.
And that you cry when you see any baby smile at you.
That despite knowing your limitations of age, sex, you work hard.
That at 60, you work harder than most 20 year olds.
That you know your kids love you.
Close your eyes. You are what you are.
That you know you are not dependent on anyone, just because he brings home the moolah. You run the house.
Or that you dream of hoarding money for no one to share it with.
So while you cannot be all you want to be,
You still smile with a smile that reaches your eyes.
You still love the man who has long gone from your life.
And while one part of you is hurt, you still derive happiness from the fact that he is happy.
And you got yourself a new pet and named him Lui the 17th.
And you are learning to cook.
And you are generally filled with hope and optimism.
That every time someone blesses you, you are actually that silly that you carry over those blessings for your family and the man you have always loved somewhere in the innermost depths of your heart.
And you smile when you see leaves rustle, kids smile, young girls run to meet their loves.
And that you believe in Faith, Love and Truth, despite them deceiving you in your lifetime.
And you understand that while you cannot be innocent of everything, or that you cannot turn back the time there is one thing you can be that few others can be.
That is, that you are true.
To yourself, and to those who dare to see beneath that veneer.
And its not necessary to turn Time back.
Life goes on. Its as simple as that.
Whether you can face yourself at the end of the day or not is the entire story.

The end is that you are Beautiful. And you have to know it for yourself.
Stand up for yourself. If not you, it will help countless others to stand up too.

AND ULTIMATELY, THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY
( Just to mention one occasion)

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